Our Smart Baby

Grandma and the Cookie

Family gatherings on special occasions are a stronghold for many childhood memories. Small children learn a lot about social interactions and appropriate behavior when visiting extended family. This learning is often incidental.During a recent visit to my mother’s house, my older brother told my niece that she was not allowed to have any cookies until after dinner. My mother thought that this was ridiculous, and handed her a cookie while my brother wasn’t looking, instructing her, “Don’t tell your father.”Although this may seem like a harmless grandmotherly gesture of love, it carries two very insidious messages: It’s socially acceptable to defy your parents, and it’s best not to tell them when you do. These two messages have serious ramifications in later years. If it is socially acceptable to take a cookie when told not to, it may be considered socially acceptable to take a cigarette or a drink.Sound a little harsh? A secret cookie from grandma probably won’t do any harm. This is simply an example of the importance of presenting a unified front for our children and grandchildren. I think that my mother was wrong to undermine my brother’s instruction. Adult children do tend to be a little critical of their parents and I wouldn’t criticize her to her face. That reminds me, don’t tell my mom about this article
Tammi Reynolds